Unknown Communication Mistakes How to Fix Them

Unknown Communication Mistakes How to Fix ThemUnknown Communication Mistakes How to Fix Them You may be sabotaging your influence through your verbal and nonverbal communication without even knowing it. Why is it so common for leaders to overestimate their level of influence? First, there is a phenomenon called Illusory Superiority or the Above-average Effect. Most leaders judge themselves better than average in any particular metric, including personality traits, job performance and work-related skills. We tend to overestimate our positive qualities and underestimate our negative qualities. The second reason that leaders believe theyre mora influential than they really are is because our definition of influence is flawed. We have a misperception of what influence is and an outdated, inadequate understanding of what it means to be influential. The common definition of influence is the ability to motivate people to action. This definition doesnt work in todays business environment because we live in a new world of work called noise. Think about how many messages you have already received today. We have noise from our own dialogue and the multitude of messages we receive 24 hours a day, every day. The people youre trying to influence arent paying attention to you if youre sabotaging your influence through your communication. If you dont have their attention, you cant influence them. Therefore, its now more critical than ever to understand what influence is and what it is bedrngnis. In todays competitive world, influence isWorking from an incomplete definition of what it means to be influential Monday to Monday is the first way you may be sabotaging your influence.The second reason goes back to the Above-average Effect. Many leaders believe that if they feel theyre a good communicator , then it must be true. They believe that if they feel influential, then others perceive them this way. This problem is compounded by the fact that few peopl e are willing to give leaders honest feedback about their influence, or lack thereof. As a result, they take their level of influence for granted. It is a natural human tendency to base our opinion of ourselves on how we feel when we communicate rather than on the facts of how we actually look and sound. Our thinking is, I feel good therefore, I am good . More often than not, what we feel inside doesnt translate to what listeners are seeing and hearing. We may believe that we are better communicators than others think we are. Or, the opposite may be true. Others may see us as better communicators than we think we are.To enhance your influence, you need to evaluate your communication based on facts, not feelings. You need to get to the heart of what is really going on by experiencing your communication through the eyes and ears of your listeners and readers. This leads us to the third reason of how you may be sabotaging your influence. When was the last time you recorded yourself speaking on video or audio? If it wasnt within the last three months, there is a strong possibility that you dont know the facts about your communication. There is also a strong possibility that youre sabotaging your influence through your communication without even knowing it.The best way to get factual data about your communication is to watch yourself on video or listen to yourself on audio. Video acts like a mirror, enabling you to see exactly what others see and to hear exactly what others hear when you communicate. What you see and hear is who you truly are when you communicate. Video recording yourself is the only way to reveal the truth of what your listeners see and hear rather than what you believe to be true. As painful as it might be to watch and hear yourself, is it any worse than spending the rest of your career clueless about what others are thinking or saying behind your back? As much as you might not want to do it, videoing yourself is one of the greatest investment s you can make in your life, both professionally and personally. TODAY make a commitment to increase your influence and avoid sabotaging your influence. Is there a difference between how you felt during the recording and how you look? What perception would you have of yourself based on what you see and hear? Would you be influenced by your communication? Influence is the highest form of competitive advantage for both individuals and organizations. When all else is equal between you and the competition, the business goes to the one with more influence. Therefore, influence is more crucial than ever in achieving success. Stacey Hanke is author of Influence RedefinedBe the Leader You Were Meant to Be, Monday to Monday . She also co-authored Yes You CanEverything You Need From A To Z to Influence Others to Take Action . Hanke is founder of Stacey Hanke Inc. She has trained and presented to thousands, helping business leaders get rid of bad body language habits and to choose word s wisely from the financial industry to the health care industry to government and everyone in-between.